"Every time I meet her she acts like she's not sure who I am," Mrs. Obama confided. "Her glazed-over eyes seem to be asking, 'Now is this one from Africa, Jamaica or Harlem? Is she a dancer or a sprinter?' It's a weird vibe. Then a flunky whispers in her ear and she gets it. She loses the 'is this one stealing the silver?' fear. Does she get her dresses from a costume museum? And what's with the George Washington hairdo? The rumors that she puts underwear on her head are true. Yeah. Happy birthday, jubilee, anniversary, whatever. I'd rather meet Helen Mirren."
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