Acclaimed hypnotist The Great Misto is employing his mental powers to convince every voter to pick President Obama in November.
"I'm hard at work right now harnessing cosmic energy and deploying it on behalf of the President," explained Misto from his hidden lair. "I already control the stock market and the weather. The election will be easy. Most people are unaware of my psychic probing and won't feel a thing. I'm subtle. You'll see my power in November when 100% of voters go Obama. That Mormon has no chance. Even he will vote Democratic. I'm all-knowing, all-seeing. Believe that."
Obama Campaign Manager David Axelrod responded to Misto in a press release.
"We welcome the psychic asistance of the Great Misto. Mind control has gotten many elected in the past. We're quite relieved he's on side. All hail Misto!"
The Romney campaign announced they will pit the Angel Moroni against Misto in November.
"Misto will open an industrial-size barrel of whup-ass come election day," said a Romney aide. "And we'll find his hidden lair. Our missionaries are knocking on extra doors looking for it. Misto will go busto."
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