The Romney campaign and the Church of Latter-Day Saints have joined forces to locate the hidden lair of hypnotist The Great Misto who has vowed to make all voters pick President Obama in November.
"With 50,000 missionaries worldwide, we have an excellent chance of locating Misto's lair in time," said Elder Tom Nelson. "That's a lot of doors. We won't stop until this threat is stopped. Say no to Misto, yes to Mitt."
Governor Romney has committed an unspecified portion of his $250 million personal fortune to fund the nationwide search for Misto, including a reward.
Reached at his hidden lair, the Great Misto scoffed at the attempts to locate him. "With my mental powers, these fools will never find me. I cloud their minds, send them off on wild goose chases. I trick them up. Dont forget. I control the weather and the stock market. Blocking these candy-ass kooks is easy. Tell 'em I'm in Utah."
Governor Romney is offering a $100,000 cash reward for information leading to the finding of Misto's hidden lair. The recipient will also get a big, wet kiss from Mr. Romney, providing that person is female.
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