President Obama admitted today that Kwanzaa, the faux African holiday, is, in fact, "some bullshit."
The President explained he only appeared to celebrate it after consultants advised him to "black it up" prior to the 2008 election.
"Given that I'm half-white, raised in Hawaii, and a Harvard grad, my advisors wanted to up my street cred, and Kwanzaa was part of the makeover. They also made me start playing basketball, an unbelievable bore. I'd rather be surfing, but that's too white. Heck, my favorite group is the Beach Boys, but publicly I say it's Run DMC. Point of fact, I'm a joyeux noel, Dockers kind of guy."
The President was also advised to conceal his affection for Bing Crosby, Norman Rockwell, and Murder She Wrote.
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