Obama Now News today announced that its recent article on Jackie Stallone beat its article on the Obama vs. Romney mud-wrestling bout, becoming the most popular piece in the blog's history.
"Major props to Jackie Stallone," said Andre Higgins-McMickens, the blog's editor-in-chief. "Jackie zoomed past mud-wrestling in pageviews in record time. The lady is not to be messed with. Jackie's the Rocky of the blogosphere."
"Of course I'm on top," crowed Jackie in victory. "I predicted it, and I'm never taking a backseat to those scrawny Obama girls rolling around in the mud with the Mormons. People want to read about me. I'm ninety and hotter than ever. Look out, internet. Jackie's kicking ass and taking names."
Higgins-McMickens then helped Jackie down the stairs while promising additional coverage to feed the public's insatiable hunger for more about this dazzling star.
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