Buckingham Palace announced that Prince Harry is returning to the United States to dance nude at the Republican National Convention. Harry's hoping to launch a career as a male exotic dancer/stripper. He will bill himself as Horny Harry, the Royal Who's Randy.
"I feel so much freer in America," the Prince admitted. "They're always drunk and crazy. It's a party 24/7. And American girls never heard of the word 'no'. The ass is amazing."
Harry was inspired by this summer's hit stripper movie, "Magic Mike."
"Dude, that flick changed my life, opened my royal eyes. Why hang out in drafty castles with ancient butlers when I could be shaking my junk at overserved bachelorette parties? Fuck yeah! Jager shots on me!"
"Thanks to Harry, we'll actually have viewers," gushed a grateful Mitt Romney. "Skin is in, and I promise he'll go the Full Monty."
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