In a move that shocked Washington and the nation, Mitt Romney added a Republican to his ticket. Online rumors that he would add a robot or a registered sex offender proved to be false.
"I believe America needs a former frat boy who wears ill-fitting, off-the-rack suits," said Romney. "Someone who won't embarrass me at the country club even though he's Catholic. A full head of hair was also a prerequisite. Paul Ryan is that man."
Registered sex offenders expressed disappointment at not being picked but quickly returned to playgrounds and restrooms.
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