Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Your Baby Is Safe With Paul Ryan...For Now



Babies can relax if they meet vice-presidential candidate and bow-hunter Paul Ryan.  Apparently, he does not hunt humans.  Yet.

"I enjoy killing and eating animals," Ryan said.  "I grind them up into sausages.  I catch catfish with my bare hands.  I want to state categorically for the record that I don't hunt humans.  I think about it, of course.  What manly huntsman doesn't?  I draw the line at people.  And barring the total collapse of civilization during Obama's second term, I promise not to shoot persons.  So, all those babies I meet on the campaign trail can relax."

Jennifer Alvarez, mother of two-year-old Evan, attended a Ryan appearance in Wichita.  "Ryan was nice to Evan, but he had a weird gleam in his eye.  Looked like he was sizing Evan up.  He asked me how fast Evan can run.  I didn't like that."


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