Pope "Asshole," According To First Lady

Pope Benedict, boss of the world's one billion Catholics, is an "asshole", according to First Lady Michelle Obama.  "A flaming asshole," she added.

"I was nervous he'd ask how many abortions I've had.  No worries.  He only wanted to know which designers I wear and how to meet Oprah.  He must have called me "girlfriend" fifty times.  That was not in the protocol book.  Then he got into fabrics - satin versus silk.  Then jewelry.  Forget poverty and war.  Not this Pope.  Give me Reverend Wright any day."

The President and First Lady were on a "Get The Catholic Vote" tour of the Vatican when they met with His Holiness.  The Obamas' next stop will be Jerusalem, part of the "Get Jews' Money" tour of the Holy Land.