Mitt Romney campaigned proudly on his horse, tossing coins and shiny trinkets to the unemployed of Flint, Michigan. The grateful horde applauded the wealthy aristocrat, happily shoveling the horse's bowel movements as they rode past.
"I'm pleased to share my spare change and assorted baubles with these underachievers," smiled the candidate. "I believe in giving back. Not everyone gets an eight-million-dollar home to go with his twelve-million-dollar home. How these folks get by with just one is beyond me. Look at the tears of joy my largesse brings to these sunken faces. See what a roll of dimes can do."
"Mitt's got my vote," gushed Mildred Datz as she rubbed two dimes together. "He helps the little people."
A lone protestor was shouted down when he rudely complained of the tax breaks given to rich horse owners.
"There's always one party pooper," Romney sighed as he rode toward his limo.
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