Obama Assures Nation That Morgan Freeman's Alive

President Obama announced at the White House that Morgan Freeman, also known as the Voice of God, is alive and well despite his recent flop, The Magic of Belle Isle, a movie no one saw or heard of.

"Don't believe what's on the internet," Obama cautioned.  "Especially Facebook.  Bloggers will write anything.  I just spoke to Mister Freeman.  He's still with us and ready to star in more movies and receive more awards."

"I am definitely not dead," insisted the actor.  "I just ate a big dinner and am enjoying a liquer and a cigar right now.  Could a corpse do that?  When I die, I'll let you know."