Honey Boo Boo Child Endorses Mountain Dew, Obama

"Thanks, Honey Boo Boo."


Kiddie beauty pageant winner and reality TV star, Honey Boo Boo Child, today endorsed Mountain Dew and President Obama.  She spoke from her Georgia home that's literally next to railroad tracks while guzzling Go Go Juice, a mixture of Mountain Dew and Red Bull given by her obese mother to pump up the six-year-old's pageant performances.

Mother and daughter.  Aww!

Mom's the self-proclaimed "Coupon Queen" who shops at a local Piggly Wiggly armed with fistfuls of coupons.

Obama Campaign Manager David Axelrod thanked Honey Boo Boo Child for her endorsement.

"We need the redneck vote," Axelrod explained.  "The kind of backwoods ass-scratchers who force six-year-olds into beauty pageants.  Parents who sugar up their kids and make them wear false eyelashes while bumping and grinding for strangers.  Crackers who keep pet pigs.  Hard to believe, but they are allowed to vote."



Coupon Queen and Mom