Flash mobs throughout the U.S. are unanimous in their support of President Obama. Gangs of thieves surveyed in Chicago, Atlanta, Boston, New York and the nation's capital will vote for the Democratic incumbent come November.
While walking out of a Chicago men's clothing store with a pair of $200 Nudie jeans, Jer'rell Young said, "Barack's got my vote. As long as I'm not busy stealing my fall outfits, Ima stop by my polling place. It's my civic duty."
Ashanti Edwards, both hands full with bags of Cheetos, wore an Obama t-shirt and explained how she and her friends choose where to shop in Atlanta.
"This here shit ain't random. Yo. We doin' special mob tributes. Did one for Whitney Houston. One for Don Cornelius. It's about respect. And I got four wigs."
"It's in the Bible," added Baltimore's LaKeishia Boyd. "The Lord helps those who help themselves. I helped myself to new Nikes."
Obama Campaign Manager David Axelrod praised the broad support for the President among the nation's shoplifting youth.
"We couldn't be happier. Many of these mob members will be voting for the first time. They're participating in our democracy, becoming citizens and letting their voices be heard. Anybody seen my laptop?"
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