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| Big Bird's Bummed |
While admitting he "loves Big Bird," Mitt Romney today vowed to outsource the character, replacing it with a much cheaper version in the Philippines.
"The PBS Big Bird, of course, is overpaid and costing taxpayers a fortune. I will put an end to that," promised Romney. "We've identified a Big Bird in Manila who will work for a fraction of the salary. Their Big Bird speaks English, although with a weird accent. Americans will recognize the accent from countless customer service agents who call them during dinner."
"Filipino Big Bird will help us bring down the deficit without removing a beloved character from our kids' childhoods. I've tested Filipino Big Bird on my own grandchildren. They adore him, and he's teaching them Tagalog, which is useful when dealing with household staff."
The Romney Plan was not received well on Sesame Street. A nervous Elmo was overheard on the phone with his agent.
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| Days numbered? |
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