Nation Avoids First Debate With Reruns, Drinking



Skipping debate

 American voters ran the other way during the first Presidential debate, preferring to watch or do anything else.

"No way do I have time for those two douchebags," admitted Long Island's Manny Rivera.  "I could give a shit what those liars say.  One-hundred-percent bullshit.  There's a pizza and a Facts Of Life marathon with my name on it."

"I'm heading for my local gin mill and watching the game," said Ed Riley of Colorado.  "I'm gettin' shitfaced, bro, no debate about it."



Barflies debate tits, not politics

"Isn't the election over yet?" sighed Denise Hampton in Tampa.  "Drags on forever.  I'm doing laundry and babysitting my grandson while his mom works late.  Listen to millionaires blow smoke up my ass?  Ain't happenin'.  Is the colored guy still President?"

"Debate?  Anything but that," said R.J. Browne of Austin.  "Read Groupons, shuck oysters, match socks, floss.  Anything!  Suggest something."



Not watching debate, either