Angry Obama Slaps 'Bronco Bama' Girl

President Obama made an unscheduled stop in Colorado Thursday so that he could bitch-slap Abigael Evans, the four-year-old who mispronounced his name and became a YouTube sensation.

"You bet I hit her," sneered Obama.  "I'm the goddamn Commander-In-Chief.  Get the name right.  She has no excuse.  She gets Hello Kitty right.  What's so hard about Barack Obama?  I slapped her mom, too.  Racist crackers."

"I thought about sending Malia to slap her, but, shit, I wanted to.  Felt good.  Here's your teachable moment."

Obama got back on Air Force One and flew to his next fund-raiser.